Someday, someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.
I have been taught to be peaceful
because the buddhist monks are right
and that’s why they’ll live the longest.
I have been taught to calm down
when I get my feelings hurt
to sleep on it to see how I’ll feel in the morning.
I have been taught to hold back my tongue
because I might regret what it does if I don’t.
I have been taught that whatever I do in the moment
is the absolute wrong choice
and I am tired of feeling like that’s true.
I do not want to sleep on it
and I do not want to hold my tongue
because it is wild
and if you hurt me
if you use me
if you belittle me
I will let it lash you in the throat.
My heart wants to yell truths
and I don’t want to lay down at night regretting
all the filth I didn’t say.
I have been taught to be peaceful
because enlightenment calls for that
and I have been taught to treat people
the way I want to be treated.
I want people to call me out
when I wronged them,
to correct me when I have hurt their hearts
and made their eyes sore.
People owe people the truth
because constructive criticism creates beauty.
I was told I should be peaceful
but I’m not a peaceful girl really
I am a wild fire
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
in a year you’ll spill over with the maple syrup of her love
and your facebook will be a torture device i use
when i’m halfdrunk and looking to be
in six months i’ll still call you in the dead of night
but you’ll have stopped answering such a long time ago
i’ll just speak diaries into your answering machine,
endless pointless babble
in three months your messages will still be saved
on my phone and i’ll stay up reading them
just to get off on
feeling my heart crumble
i see our end coming maybe a month or two
from right now,
i can hear it click slowly into the chamber
as you bring the gun around
because baby for a while now you’ve been
falling out of love
maybe it’s you maybe it’s our timeline maybe it’s that
i’m not enough
but baby tomorrow you’ll kiss me hard enough
to turn off the sirens screaming in my head
and i won’t realize you’ve charmed me back into believing
until you’ve taken me to bed
but baby tomorrow we’ll still be a couple
we’ll drink lemonade and laugh at bad jokes and
you’ll unstring yourself just a little bit more and i’ll try
sowing myself to your heart just a little bit closer
we’ll seem like we’re doing just fine
instead of perched on the edge of sorrow
and dear god but do i live
for that love you’ll pretend